So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
