the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
