Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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