hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
