If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
