I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
