I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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