I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Screwed.edu
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
