just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize