even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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