butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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