wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
