I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
