not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
