It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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