Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
