So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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