if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
