i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
