if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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