Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
