I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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