is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
