party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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