Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize