Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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