Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
