Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
