so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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