i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
