i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
