I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
