Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
