Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
