Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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