you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
