A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
