I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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