I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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