that's an acceptable place to lick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
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