He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
