Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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