I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
