K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
