Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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