I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
