That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
