I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
