If i come over, it means nothing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just found puke in my bra..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i out mim tonsoeep
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