My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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