Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize