Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i now understand why vodka
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
