He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
