I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize