u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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