Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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