ugly people sure do ruin things
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
