I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
