we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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