ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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