I'm drive I can fine osifer
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
