Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
